(Authors Note – this chapter has an accompanying Spotify Playlist listed at the end of the chapter – just in case you don’t already know all the songs referenced.)
Kamebi Stone loved her job. She was the foremost researcher in Social Anthropology of her generation. Living inside the blind, she had been studying species 81NN for over 30 years. Longer than any other Caprini. She loved her job, observing her subject’s lives. Watching them grow and develop. Time in the blind was frozen, only the outside world moved forward.
“Are we ready for the next one?” She asked her team.
They all nodded in agreement.
“Engage Temporal Field. Begin Hippocampal Integration and activate the Simulation Chamber.”
The team followed the directions as they had done a thousand times before. This was just another workday.
Suddenly the blank room was filled with a City Park. Two bulbous-headed aliens talked on a park bench.
“I can’t believe he did that.” The male said, “ I’m a nice guy, right?”
“Of course you are,” the woman responded.
Dr. Stone walked up to the couple. They didn’t seem to see her. “Do we have an ID yet?” she asked the team.
“I just don’t get why he would treat me like that,” the male complained.
Shanna was the first to find the information. She was smart as a whip and mixed a great cocktail. She had been with the team for 8 years.
“It’s subject 47918. He goes by Rann. “ Shanna said.
In the middle of the park an ID bubble popped up over both the man and woman as they continued to talk.
“Wasn’t he the one buying the house?” Tavari asked. He was the newest member of the team, but he had an uncanny ability to visually identify specific subjects.
“Confirmed,” Piet said. “He was last here six months ago. They were looking at a house. Would you like to review the data?”
Piet was the youngest. He had been born in the Blind. His parents were researchers in other departments. He was always so eager to please.
“No. That’s fine,” the doctor said. “but let’s make sure the societal studies team upstairs gets the full data set.”
Shanna chimed in “It says here he works as a computer systems engineer, should we also send the data to the technical studies team?”
“Good catch Shanna,” This was why Kamebi loved her job so much. Her team was the best. “Make sure both teams are tagged in the uploaded data.”
The panel in front of Piet beeped.
“Memory Download is complete,” he said. “Disengaging the Hippocampal Integrator.”
“Releasing the Temporal Field,” Tavari said.
The park vanished and the room went back to the blank gray space it had previously been.
At the Harmony Center, Rann stepped away from the stone feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world. He followed velvet ropes down the step as another rose on the other side to touch the Stone of Harmony.
He exited through the gift shop.
The Orville flew through space at quantum speed on its way to the Janisi home world.
In Engineering, Dann was having issues. He was having trouble focusing and it was starting to affect his work. His console beeped angrily at him.
“YOU FRELLING PIECE OF DREN!” he yelled at the console.
John stopped flirting with Talla long enough to look up and see what was going on. It wasn’t like Dann to be angry, ever.
Talla was taken aback by the outburst.
“Woah dude,” John said.
Norm and Mac were helping out with the diagnostic.
“If I knew what that meant, I’d be offended,” Norm said.
“Quit lying.” Mac said, “We all know nothing offends you.”
“I’m sorry,” Dann said in his normal overly polite tone. “it’s just this darn…”
The computer beeped angrily again, cutting him off.
Dann lost it.
“Nalkroro won’t lat work! Um lat know nalkra jiak kjj yelling att ayh ij nerd. Madh props!” he screamed at the machine.
Talla had never seen this type of behavior in Dann before, but as head of security, she also knew that every person had a breaking point.
She reached out and touched him on the shoulder,” Are you alright?” she asked, concerned.
“NO!” Dann screamed in her face.
Talla straightened up and gave Dann a look that said, you know I can take you down so don’t test me.
“I’m so sorry, “ Dann apologized. He took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t snap at you.”
“You shouldn’t be snapping at anyone,” John said, hoping Dann would take it as a direct order. “What’s the problem?”
“I keep trying to download this upgrade but it keeps failing right before the final package is in.” Dann explained.
The computer angrily beeped again.
“KARABLAST!” Dann tore into the inanimate object like it had knocked up his sister. CUT THE FELGERCARB YOU MUDBLOOD BELGIUM SMEG! THE OTHERS TAKE YOU, YOU KRIFFING NERF HERDER ! POODOO! GORRAM POLYCYSTIC NEOPLASM! YOUR MATRIARCH WAS A CRICETINAE AND YOUR PROGENITOR EMANATES OF SAMBUCUS!”
He slammed his fists down on the console cracking the glass.
Mac and Norm backed away in anticipation of Talla clocking him one.
John had no idea what was up with Dann, but he was not about to get a departmental write-up over this.
“Dann! Chill!” John demanded. “That’s an order.”
Dann was on the verge of tears, “I’m so sorry, I’ll fix this.”
“No. I’ll fix that. You report to sickbay. That’s an order,” John insisted. adding “Maybe Dr. Finn can give you something to chill your ass out.” under his breath.
“It’s ok,” Talla said reassuringly, “I’ll walk you there.”
Talla walked a dejected Dann out of Engineering as John took over at Dann’s station.
Dann stopped for a second in the doorway and looked back.
John saw him. “Go!” he ordered, pointing toward the door.
“Hey John,” Norm asked, “Is that what drugs do to you?”
“Dann is not on drugs,” Mac said, “he’s not nearly cool enough to do drugs.”
“Right now,” John added, “he needs some drugs.”
In sickbay, Dr. Finn was running a scanner over Dann’s head when Kelly showed up.
“So how is the patient?” Kelly asked.
“Not very patient,” Talla said.
“Is this really necessary?” Dann complained severely agitated.
“He’s hardly his chipper self.” Dr. Finn said.
“Do you know what is causing it?” Kelly asked.
“I’m not sure, ” Dr. Finn said. “I’m still running tests, but I have ruled out any viral or bacterial infection.”
“I know exactly what is causing it,” Dann said snarkily. “Too much time with you people and not enough time at home.”
“Lieutenant?” Kelly asked, a little confused. It wasn’t like Dann to be sarcastic, at all.
“Gosh, I am so sorry Captain, I mean Commander,” Dann apologized. “I just haven’t been feeling like myself lately.”
Dr. Finn seemed confused by the readings she was getting. “How long have you been having these mood swings?”
“I don’t know,” Dann said exasperated. “Maybe a day or two. It didn’t seem so bad this morning.”
“Well, your norepinephrine levels are spiking higher than I have ever seen.” Dr. Finn said, grabbing a hypospray. “It’s no wonder you’re so emotional.”
She injected him with a hormone blocker.
“You should feel this immediately,” she said confidently.
“Feel what?” he replied depressed.
But his mood instantly changed to paranoia. “Do you have to stand so close?” he asked as disgust set in, “That’s not going to help. I need to go home and take the stone.”
“Take the what?” Kelly asked.
“The Stone of Harmony.” Dann reiterated a little more agitated than last time.
“I thought that was a spiritual thing.” Dr. Finn said scanning Dann again, the levels were even higher now. The blocker had done no good.
“Oh, it’s so much more than that.” Dann said, almost crying with sentimental joy, “Taking the stone clears all the negativity out and just leaves you with the most amazing feeling of contentment and purpose.”
“I’m confused,“ Kelly asked, “Where do you take this stone to?”
Dann was super annoyed by the question and it showed. “You don’t take it anywhere!” He said rudely, “You touch it with your forehead.”
“And this helps?” Dr. Finn asked. Giving Dann another shot, this one a mild sedative.
“Yes, it helps!” Dann said angrily, “If you knew anything about me you would know this! It’s like no one knows anything about my species at all!”
“Excuse me?” Finn said, beginning to lose her patience.
Dann fell into a crying mass on the biobed. “I’m sorry.” he sobbed. “I know you wouldn’t believe it but thousands of years ago my people were very violent. “
He regained his composure for a moment, “Legend says that one day the Stone of Harmony appeared, glowing for all to see. Once people touched it all the violent tendencies just faded away. Now everyone touches it. It keeps us all living in peace and harmony.”
“Tell you what, we’re not due at the cultural festival for another week. We can change,” she stopped herself. Ed was back, course changes weren’t her decision anymore. “I will talk to the Captain and see if we can get you home to touch the stone,” she said optimistically.
Ed was glad to be back on the ship. The four weeks stuck on earth dealing with the trial and his family were excruciating. Anaya and he were happy to be home.
His office was just how he left it.
Kelly had taken good care of the ship. So good in fact, he was thinking of recommending her for her own command. She was definitely ready to lead on her own.
“So let me get this straight,” he said, “he touches this stone and he’s fine?”
“That’s what he says,” Kelly answered.
“It must be some type of placebo effect,” Dr. Finn explained, “I can’t imagine how touching a rock to your forehead could change your brain chemistry.”
“Is there anything you can do for him here?” Ed asked.
He liked Dann. Dann was probably one of the nicest people Ed had ever met. It bothered him to hear that he was out of sorts and yelling at the crew.
“I’ve done everything I can.” Dr. Finn explained.
“At this point wouldn’t he be better off seeking treatment on his own planet?” Kelly asked.
“They do have experts there who know his biology better than I do.” Dr. Finn agreed. “Maybe it’s psychosomatic? I don’t know. I just don’t have enough information.”
“Touching a stone,” Ed mused, “Wow, there is really so much we just don’t know about his culture. How far off course would this take us?” He asked Kelly.
“Not too far,” she said, “we have plenty of time to go, have him touch a stone, and still make it to the Janisi cultural festival on time.”
“What do you think?” he asked her.
“Well, we did take a detour to see Bortus pee. I’m not sure that this is any different. Why not take one to watch Dann touch a rock?” she said.
“Tell Grandine to set a course.” Ed agreed.
Dann’s homeworld was fairly similar to Earth. Land, oceans, trees, and mountains. But it had one thing that Earth did not have. The Stone of Harmony.
Outside the Harmony Center and Day Spa, the parking lot was filled with every manner of personal spacecraft. Gordon flew low over the lot looking for a parking space.
“Is that one?” Ed pointed. “Oh wait, someone already got it.”
Gordon hovered the shuttle in place for a moment. “I think those guys are leaving.”
“What is taking so long?” Dann yelled from the back.
“I’m trying to find a parking spot here!” Gordon yelled back.
“Let’s all just try to remain calm,” Dr. Finn said.
“Here we go,” Gordon said, finally landing in the parking lot.
They got out of the shuttle and started the long hike to the entrance.
It appeared to be a popular destination. It was full of people. A few cranky ones like Dann, but primarily happy tourists and families, excited about coming to touch a rock.
Dann pushed his way through the crowd, past a gift shop offering mini versions of the Stone of Harmony, along with T-shirts and Coffee mugs. Ed hurried to keep up with him, while Gordon and Claire lagged behind.
“Oh look they have a spa,” Claire said, spotting a sign that offered Hot Stone Massages, Wraps, Mudbaths. “When this is over, I’m going to get a massage.”
A giant arch marked the start of the line to touch the Stone of Harmony.
Along the line were paintings and stories that showed the history of the stone and the Harmony Center.
The line ran down the right side of the room. At the back of the room in the middle, a bare chunk of ground jutted out of the floor, as if the building was built around it. On that ground stood the Stone of Harmony. A tall black obelisk that reminded Gordon of the movie 2001. He wanted to blurt out “I can’t do that Dave,” but he figured the joke would be lost in this crowd.
The stone seemed to be humming. Gordon thought it sounded like a low G.
In front of the stone was a lovely reflecting pool with a sign that read The Pool of Resolution. Some of the pilgrims were sitting by the pool. A few even tossed in replicated coins.
The line was moving quickly. One by one members of Dann’s species walked up the steps and pressed their heads to the stone. The stone appeared to glow for a moment as the low G turned into a chord. A visual wave of euphoria washed over them. Everyone walked away looking happy.
“The Stone of Harmony.” Ed said, “Is there a Stone of Melody? Maybe a Stone of Rhythm?”
“No,” Dann responded, offended, “There’s not.”
“Just the Harmony, huh? So do your people do this regularly?” He asked.
“Oh yeah, “ Dann said getting excited, “The Stone of Harmony can really help bring everything into focus. When I am home, I come once a week. It really helps me keep my zen.”
“They definitely look relaxed,” Gordon said.
“Looks like you are up next,” Dr. Finn said, “Do you mind if I scan you while you touch the stone? I’m really curious about how this works.”
“Go right ahead,” Dann said.
Dr. Finn followed him up to the stone and stood with her scanner scanning.
A stressed-out Dann pressed his head to the stone. The stone glowed and the G chord rang through the air. A wave of euphoria washed over Dann. While a wave of confusion washed over Dr. Finn.
“How do you feel?” she asked Dann.
“I feel amazing,” he responded.
“I bet you do,” she responded, “I don’t know how it worked, but it did. It’s almost like the stone realigned your brain chemistry. Your norepinephrine levels are normal, your serotonin levels are a little high, but not dangerous.”
“Whatever it did, it must have felt pretty good,” Ed joked.
“It’s amazing Captain,” Dann agreed, “you should try it.”
“You’re holding up the line!” a Mann yelled from the back.
“Is it safe?” Ed asked.
“I don’t see why not?” Dr. Finn said.
“Here goes nothing,” Ed said, stepping up and touching his forehead to the stone.
The low G turned into a dissonant minor chord. The glowing of the stone was getting brighter. Sparks of electricity came out of the stone and ran through Ed’s body. He started to convulse.
Ed woke up in sickbay. There was a strange female doctor examining him. She was of an alien race he wasn’t familiar with.
“So what’s the word doc?” he asked.
She seemed surprised by the readout on her pad. She looked right at ED “You… you can see me?” she asked.
“Yes.” Ed answered.
“And you understand what I am saying?” she asked
“Yes.” Ed said, “I think so, hey what happened?”
Behind her, a team of three nurses started whispering and taking notes.
“You are the first of your species to ever touch the stone. It has had an unexpected reaction with your biology.”
Ed sits up. The sickbay seemed different. He couldn’t put his finger on it. But something seemed off.
“Where’s Dr. Finn?” he asked.
“Dr. Finn?” The alien doctor asked, looking at her pad and typed in some notes.
Magically, Dr. Finn appears from behind the previous doctor who was still busy working on her pad.
“I’m right here, Ed” she said, “You gave us quite a scare Captain. You’re lucky Doctor Stone is here. She has been studying the effect on Dann’s people for longer than anyone.”
“So what’s the verdict, am I going to live?” Ed asked.
Dr. Stone looked at her pad, she was confused by the readings. “I think so? Though honestly, I have never seen this kind of reaction to the stone so we’re definitely in uncharted waters here. How do you feel?” She asked Ed.
“Ok I guess,” he answered, “maybe a little tired.”
“Well that sounds good,” she replied. “You can leave. Maybe you should go get some sleep now.”
Ed left sick bay, went to his quarters and tucked himself into bed. He slept.
Sickbay stayed put with Dr. Stone and her team.
“Is the temporal field still in place?” she asked.
“Yes,” Tavari answered.
“Get me an external scan. Can anyone tell me what happened?” she asked the team.
Piet shared his screen with the others. It showed Ed pressed to the rock. Dr. Finn and Gordon lunging toward him. All frozen in time. Piet zoomed in on Ed’s brain.
“His brain is different. His temporal lobe is unusual, the hippocampus has an unusual shape. I don’t think we have accessed his memories.” he said.
“Do we still have brain activity?” Dr. Stone asked.
“Yes,” Shanna answered surprised, “brain activity seems to be staying consistent. It’s at a higher level than normal. But that could be normal for his species. ”
“So for him, the simulation is still running.” Dr. Stone said.
“Yes,” Piet said, “would you like me to route it back to here?”
“No. That reading is so anomalous, we should just shut it down. Disengage the Integrator.” she ordered her team.
“It won’t disengage,” Tavari said, perplexed and hitting buttons.
“What?” Dr. Stone said.
“It’s not responding at all.” Tavari replied, “I think the system is locked up.”
Dr. Stone hit a button on her lapel. “Engineering.”
A voice came out of the air, “Engineering here.”
“Can you please send a tech to the memory lab. We had an unusual alien and we can’t disengage the Hippocampal Integrator.” she requested.
“On my way.” the voice responded.
“Shanna contact upstairs and let them know our status. “ Dr. Stone said, “ They’ll probably want to observe this. Everyone into the observation deck. Since this one can see us we should limit our interactions with him until we can figure out how to get him out of the system. Once we are in the observation deck we can transfer the data back to here for observation until engineering can get this figured out.”
The team followed her into a small room off the main room.
The main room became Ed’s quarters.
He wasn’t sure how long he slept. It didn’t seem like long, but he was wide awake. Anaya wasn’t there. She must have gotten herself ready for school and gone all by herself. She was growing up so fast.
He dressed himself and headed to the mess hall.
In the halfway, two officers greeted each other as they passed in the hall with a musical tone.
“Good Morning” sang the first.
“Good Morning” sang the second.
A couple exited the mess hall and started singing as well, “ We’ve talked the whole night through,” They looked and saw Ed. “ Good Morning,” they musically greeted him.
“Good Morning to you,” Ed responds.
Ed entered the mess hall. The Bartender was still cleaning up from last night’s crowd. He saw Ed and greeted him with a “Good Morning”
“Good Morning” Ed responded, only slightly conscious of the music playing the background, as he grabbed some coffee from the food dispenser.
“It’s good to stay up late.” The bartender sang.
Kelly entered the mess hall, Ed saw her and sang “Good Morning.”
“Good Morning to You,” She replied in song.
The bartender stepped out from behind the bar and continued the song “When the band began to play the stars were shining bright. Now the milkman’s on his way and it’s time to say good night.”
“So Good Morning” they all sang together, smiling and dancing, and joined by every crew member in the mess hall, “ Good morning. Sunbeams will soon smile through, Good morning, Good Morning to you.”
“And you and you and you,” The bartender said pointing at various patrons. The patrons began to sing along.
“Good Morning” sang one.
“Good Morning” sang another
“We’ve gabbed the whole night through” they sang together dancing. “Good Morning. Good Morning to you”
“Nothing could be grander than to be in Louisiana” A man butted into their dance.
The singing and dancing continued in the mess hall of Ed’s mind.
In the observation deck, Dr. Stone and her team were confused.
“This is fascinating,” Piet said
“I’m not even sure what we’re looking at,” Tavari added
“What do you think? Is it some kind of morning ritual?” Piet asked.
“I think it might be some sort of dream,” Shanna said. “This brain is unlike any I have scanned. We may have hit a section of the subconscious as opposed to the memory center.”
Royee was a talented engineer. He had spent years maintaining the systems in the memory lab. He knew the system inside and out.
“How long until we can reset the system?” Dr. Stone asked him as the singing and dancing in the mess hall continued.
“I could pull the plug right now and the system would restart fine. But…” Royee said matter of factly.
“But what?” Dr. Stone asked.
“But it would fry his brain.” Royee said, “His neural paths have somehow integrated into the system. If we just turn it off, I don’t know what it will do to him. It could very likely kill him.”
Dr. Stone was not happy with that answer. While this alien wasn’t part of her research group, he was observably an intelligent sentient being, and killing him outright just to fix her equipment was a bridge she wasn’t willing to cross.
“Is there any way to keep that from happening?” she asked.
“Maybe if we could isolate his brainwave from the algorithm. We’d need to scan him with an electroencephalogram and isolate his brain frequency. I might be able to pull him out of the machine.”
“Piet bring me a scanner,” the Dr. said. “I’m going back in.”
Ed made it to the bridge. Dr. Stone was there.
“Dr?” he asked, “is there a problem?”
“I just need to get a quick scan,” she said, scanning him. “When was the last time you were ill?” she asked
“About a year ago, I had that bout of Xelyan flu.” he said.
“A year?” Dr. Stone asked. “How long is a year on your planet?”
The entire bridge crew stands looking forward and begins singing in harmony.
“Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes” the crew sang in unison. “Five hundred, twenty five thousand moments so dear.”
“So that would be,” Dr. Stone was cut off by more singing. “Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes. How do you measure, measure a year?”
“Yes, that is my question.” Dr. Stone asked Ed as he danced away with Kelly.
“In daylights, in sunsets, In midnights, in cups of coffee.” the crew sang, “In inches, in miles.”
“I’m confused on your answer.” Dr. Stone said.
“In laughter, in strife. In five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes. How do you measure a year in a life?”
In her ear Dr. Stone could hear the group in the blind.
“Ask what they are doing?” Piet asked.
“How about love?” they all sang to her dancing in a circle around her, “How about love?”
“Is that their primary form of communication?” Shanna asked.
“How about love?” They continued to sing. Dr. Stone continued to scan Ed. “Measuring love.”
“We could do an entire study just on this unique form of communication. The tonal variations are incredible.” Tavari suggested.
“Seasons of love” they crew sang.
“I’ll see what I can find out.” Kamebi said while scanning.
“Seasons of love” the crew sang. They stopped to take a breath.
“What is that?” Dr. Stone asked.
“What was what?” Ed asked back, as if nothing unusual had transpired.
“The thing with your voice?” Kemebi asked, “there were distinctive tonal variations, they had a rhythmic quality?”
“The singing?” Ed asked.
“Is that what you call it?” Kamebi asked. “How does it work?”
“Well I am glad you asked.” Ed said.
Music seemed to come from nowhere. Ed turned to Dr. Stone and the bridge turned into a mountain hilltop field covered in little white flowers.
“Let’s start at the very beginning” Ed sang, “A very good place to start. When you read, you begin with A-B-C. When you sing, you begin with Do-Re-Mi”
“Do-Re-Mi?” Kamebi asked
“Do-Re-Mi” Ed continued
“The first three notes just happen to be, Do-Re-Mi.”
“Do-Re-Mi” Kamebi repeated, unsure of what she was saying.
“Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti” Ed sang
“Oh, let’s see if I can make it easy” he spoke for a moment before continuing to sing.
“Do, a deer, a female deer. Re, a drop of golden sun. Mi, a name, I call myself. Fa, a long, long way to run. So, a needle pulling thread. La, a note to follow So. Ti, a drink with jam and bread. That will bring us back to Do, oh, oh, oh.”
The entire crew suddenly reappeared dressed in matching clothing, short pants with suspenders for the boys and dresses for the girls. Kamebi wondered if the clothes were some type of traditional dress. They all danced around the fields of flowers singing the song.
“Do, a deer, a female deer. Re, a drop of golden sun. Mi, a name, I call myself. Fa, a long, long way to run. So, a needle pulling thread. La, a note to follow So. Ti, a drink with jam and bread. That will bring us back to Do A deer, a female deer. Re, a drop of golden sun. Mi, a name, I call myself. Fa, a long, long way to run. So, a needle pulling thread. La, a note to follow So. Ti, a drink with jam and bread. That will bring us back to Do
Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Do, So-Do
“Now,children,” Ed explained to the crew in the field along with Dr. Stone. “Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So and so on are only the tools we use to build a song. Once you have these notes in your heads. You can sing a million different tunes by mixing them up. Like this”
“So, Do, La, Fa, Mi, Do, Re” Ed sang.
He looked at Dr Stone. “Can you do that?”
“So, Do, La, Fa, Mi, Do, Re” she repeated.
“So, Do, La, Ti, Do, Re, Do” Ed sang.
“So, Do, La, Ti, Do, Re, Do” The crew echoed.
“Now put it all together,” Ed said.”
“So, Do, La, Fa, Mi, Do, Re” the crew sang, “So, Do, La, Ti, Do, Re, Do.”
Ed turned to Dr. Stone “ But it doesn’t mean anything so we put in words, one word for every note. Like this,
“When you know the notes to sing” he sang, “You can sing most anything.”
“When you know the notes to sing,” The whole crew sang together dancing around Dr. Stone like they were children at play. “You can sing most anything.”
Dr. Stone didn’t know what to think of it. She made some notes on her pad of the notes and frequencies being used.
The crew continued singing and dancing, “ Do, a deer, a female deer. Re, a drop of golden sun. Mi, a name, I call myself. Fa, a long, long way to run. So, a needle pulling thread. La, a note to follow So. Ti, a drink with jam and bread. That will bring us back to Do.“
Kamebi Stone was perplexed. “I have never heard of such a strange form of communication.”
“That’s the basics.” Ed said plainly as if music were his job.
“No, No, No” a man suddenly appeared wearing a black coat with tails seated at a large white table or console. Kamebi had never seen anything like it. It had strange rectangular buttons that each created a different frequency when touched.
“Barry Manilow!” Ed exclaimed
“Knowing the notes is one thing,” Barry explained, “but putting them together into a song… that’s the challenge.”
The man sat down and began hitting multiple keys at once while singing. The crew stood in awe as he sung.
“You start off with the verse, he sang, “That’s the part that tells you what the song is gonna to be about. You gotta grab a them first, dope is good or death is nice but love is still the best way out. And then you pad, and then you fill or you complain or get a chill. But most of all you move along to the center of the song. Yes that’s the chorus singing for us. Never overlook giving it a hook you see sometimes I really do write the songs.”
“This man is a genius,” Ed said to Kamebi.
“And now the second verse, this is where you find out who’s a creep and who’s a so and so,” Barry sang. “ You’re not allowed to curse, ‘cause if you do they’ll never play you on the AM radio. And then you build and speculate. And don’t forget to modulate. But most of all you move along to the center of the song and that’s the chorus. Sing it for us. Never overlook giving it a hook. You see sometimes I really do write the songs. “
Dr. Stone returned to the observation deck. Ed and the crew didn’t seem to notice. They were all transfixed by this Manilow person.
“Who is this Manilow?” Piet asked.
“Perhaps he is a great communicator among their people?” Tavari suggested.
“If you sing it to me once, I could sing right back.” Barry continued singing and playing the white grand piano. “If you sing it to me once, I could sing right back. Sing it once, sing it back. Sing it once, sing it back. Love that chorus. Shove that chorus. Never overlook giving it a hook. You see sometimes I really do write the…I write the Songs” Manilow sang. Thundurus applause came out of nowhere. THe crew stood on their feet and applauded as well.
“We could study this guy for the next 50 cycles.” Shanna said.
“We could, “ Dr. Stone said, returning to the observation deck, “ but that would take time away from our current study.”
She handed the scanner to Royee.
“You have the scan, now get him out of my equipment.” She said.
Royee looked at the scan. The guy was pretty well integrated into the machine matrix. His brain was pretty much running the entire lab now. The view would just randomly switch from one thing to another.
Royee tried using the scan to filter out his brainwaves. It just wasn’t working. “It’s no good,” he said. “His neural pathways are spreading faster than you can scan them.”
The door to the observation deck opened, and Administrator Rael entered the room. “What’s the status?” he demanded.
“We still can’t get the system to eject him. His primary form of communication is alien to us. He seems to be stuck in a dream-like state, but he is aware of our presence.”
“We need to put an end to this,” Rael said.
“Maybe we could encourage him to leave voluntarily,” Tavari suggested.
“What were you thinking?” Dr. Stone asked.
“Maybe we can implant a suggestion that he move along. Since his subconscious seems to be in control, we send in someone to ask him to go.” Tavari suggested. “Someone with authority that he admires.”
“If there is a way to get him out of the equipment without shutting it all down I would rather do that.” Dr. Stone said, “ We don’t know what shutting it down will do to his brain.”
“I don’t think his brain is processing any of this correctly,” Shanna said, “we could already be doing brain damage and just not know it.”
“Let’s give it a shot.” Dr. Stone said.
“If this doesn’t work…” Rael started.
“If this doesn’t work, I’ll take care of it myself.” Kamebi finished.
“Look at the data and find me someone this guy will listen to.” she added to her team.
Ed walked on to the bridge. It was perfectly normal.
“The Admiral is in your office,” Talla said.
Ed looked at Kelly and took a deep breath before walking into his office.
Behind the desk, Admiral Kermit the Frog was looking over the day’s communication logs. A small green amphibian made of cloth with big bulging white eyes in an Admiral’s uniform.
“Oh good you’re here” Admiral The Frog said to Ed pleasantly, “Have a seat, Ed. We need to talk.”
Ed looked sheepishly at the stuffed Admiral and took a seat.
“Look Ed, I am sorry but this just isn’t working out.” Admiral Frog stated.
“Oh please, Admiral the Frog,” Ed begged, “don’t take my command from me. I swear I can be better at my job. There’s just been a lot of crazy things going on lately.”
“Dr. Stone told me of your situation,” The Admiral said, “and I am sorry to say that I am going to have to take control of the situation.”
“Please Admiral, I know I’ve been off a bit lately but don’t take my command from me. Being a starship captain is all I have ever wanted. I feel like I’ve sacrificed so much just to get here. Please don’t take it all away now.” Ed pleaded.
“I admire your passion, and I’d love to talk about it more, but we have to move this along.” Admiral The Frog said, getting up to show Ed the door.
The door to the bridge slides open. The crew has been replaced by puppets who serenade Ed with Moving Right Along. The visuals change and the entire puppet crew pile into a Studebaker with Ed driving and Admiral the Frog riding shotgun.
“Movin’ right along in search of good times and good news” the Admiral sang, “With good friends you can’t lose”
“This could become a habit!” Ed sang back
“Opportunity knocks once, let’s reach out and grab it.” The Admiral sang while playing a small stringed instrument.
“Yeah!” Ed said excitedly.
“Together we’ll nab it” the Admiral sang to Ed
“We’ll hitchhike, bus or yellow cab it!” Ed sang back.
In the memory lab the muppet filled car is driving into the sunset. On the Observation deck the music fills the room.
“Cab it?” Piet asked Tavari.
She shrugged.
The car continued to drive into the sunset.
“Movin’ right along” the Admiral and Ed sang in unison.
“Footloose and fancy-free” Ed sang alone.
“Getting there is half the fun, come share it with me” the Admiral sang to Ed.
“Moving right along” Ed and the Admiral sang.
“Doog-a-doon doog-a-doon.” Puppet Bortus sang, popping his head up from the back seat.
“We’ll learn to share the load” Admiral the Frog sang.
“We don’t need a map to keep this show on the road.” Ed sang.
On the observation deck Rael was losing his patience.
“That’s someone he admires?” Rael asked.
“According to the data.” Tavari answered.
“Movin’ right along,” Puppet Gordon sang, “ we’ve found a life on the highway. And your way is my way”
“So trust my navigation” Puppet Grandine sang.
“California here we come, the pie-in-the-sky-land,” Gordon sang “Palm trees, and warm sand.”
“Though sadly we just left Rhode Island,” Issac sang with no emotion whatsoever.
“We did what?!” Ed asked, turning to look behind him out the window.
“Just forget it” Admiral the Frog told him.
“Movin’ right along” the entire puppet crew sang.
“Doog-a-doon doog-a-doon” Puppet Bortus sang.
“Hey LA, where’ve you gone?” Puppet Kelly sang.
“Send someone to fetch us, were in Sasketchewan!” Puppet Talla answered.
“Movin’ right along” They all sang in unison
“Doog-a-doon doog-a-doon” Puppet Bortus repeated his line.
“You take it, you know best” The Admiral sang to Ed.
“Hey, I’ve never seen the sun come up in the West?” Ed sang back.
“Movin’ right along” the puppets continued to sing as they headed into the sunset.
On the deck, Royee didn’t look happy.
“Did it work?” Dr.Stone asked, looking at Royee.
Royee shook his head.
“Movin’ right along” The muppets continued to sing. “Movin’ right along!”
“I wish we could stop this music,” Rael exclaimed. “It’s irritating.”
“The Studebaker slammed on its breaks. The doors opened. And the crew exited the vehicle as humans but with all new clothing.
If Kameibi knew anything about earth culture she would recognize that John was dressed as a police officer, Gordon was dressed as a Construction worker, Bortus was in full Indian regalia with a large feathered headdress, Ed was in all leather and had a large mustache now, Isaac was dressed as a sailor, and Klyden as a Cowboy. They pointed directly at the observation deck and began to sing in unison.
“You can’t stop the music,” they sang, “Nobody can stop the music.
“Take the cold from snow,” Bortus sang alone “tell the trees, don’t grow, tell the wind, don’t blow, ’cause it’s easier.”
“No, you can’t stop the music,” they all sang together, “nobody can stop the music. Take the spark from love, make the rain fall up ’cause that’s easier to do.”
In the observation deck the realization swept over Kamebi. She had run out of options. Shanna was right, the equipment was already destroying his brain.
“ We have to stop this,” Dr. Stone says solemnly.
Kelly gets out of the studebaker. The music suddenly changes and Kelly breaks out into song.
“You can’t stop an avalanche,” she sang “As it races down the hill. You can try to stop the seasons, girl. But you know you never will”
The scenery suddenly changes. It appeared to be a broadcast set. There were giant things that looked a bit like primitive Cabrini broadcast cameras.
“And you can try to stop my dancin’ feet” she continued to sing, “But I just cannot stand still. ‘Cause the world keeps spinning round and round. And my heart’s keeping time to the speed of sound. I was lost ’til I heard the drums then I found my way. ‘Cause you can’t stop the beat.”
Dr. Stone enters the lab. Gordon and Talla get in her way singing and dancing together, almost as if they are trying to keep her from the console.
“Ever since this whole world began,” they sang “a woman found out if she shook it she could shake up a man, and so I’m gonna shake and shimmy it the best that I can today”
Dr. Stone attempted to go around them but they moved to intercept her path again.
“‘cause you can’t stop the motion of the ocean, or the sun in the sky” they sang “you can wonder if you wanna, but I never ask why and if you try to hold me down I’m gonna spit in your eye and say that you can’t stop the beat!”
Ed stands next to a camera wearing a splashy silver suit and tapping his foot along to the beat.
“Captain Mercer,” Dr Stone said, “ I must speak with you. I don’t know if this will make any sense, but I have to give you the Facts.” Ed stands and listens.
Behind Dr. Stone the scene music changes and the scene morphs into a large room with a staircase. The crew sings as Ed listens to Dr. Stone.
“You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have
The facts of life, the facts of life.” the crew sings. “ The facts of life. There’s a time you got to go and show you’re growin’ now you know about
The facts of life, the facts of life.”
“I’m so sorry,” Kamebi explained, “We have tried everything to disengage you from our equipment. But your neural pathways are trying to take over. They are into all of our systems and it’s just a a matter of time before we have a full system failure. “
“When the world never seems” the crew sang ”to be livin up to your dreams
And suddenly you’re finding out the facts of life are all about you, you.” They all point at Ed.
“What do you mean?” Ed asked.
“It takes a lot to get ’em right” the crew sang, “When you’re learning the facts of life. (learning the facts of life)”
“In order to save my people I am going to have to shut this all down.” she said, “I don’t know what this will do to you, I just want you to know that I find you and your culture fascinating. I’d love to continue to study you, but at this rate, you will have taken over our entire system in the next cycle. You have to go. You’re holding up the line.”
“Learning the facts of life “ the crew finished with a big finale pose.
Ed was confused.
Dr. Stone noded to Royee on the observation deck. He hit some buttons and Ed and the crew vanished.
Inside the Harmony Center, it was anything but harmonious. Ed came flying off the stone and landed unconscious in the reflecting pool.
Dr. Finn and Gordon rushed to him. Dann stood next to the pool, cool as a cucumber.
“Wow,” he said with amazement, “I’ve never seen it do that before.”
“Ed are you ok?” Gordon asked worriedly.
Ed was not responding.Dr. Finn scanned him. Her look went from mildly worried to terrified. She hit her wrist communicator.
“Medical Emergency. Prep for Neural trauma.” she ordered “ Gordon help me get him to the shuttle, We’ve got to get him back to the ship.”
“Is he going to be ok?” Kelly asked.
“I don’t know,” Claire said.
In sickbay Ed lay in a stasis unit, a neural regenerator covering his head.
“Is he ok?” Anaya asked.
“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Kelly said, trying to comfort the child.
Dr. Finn looked at Kelly with a look that said differently.
“He will be ok won’t he?” Kelly asked.
“I don’t know.” Dr. Finn said, “It’s like every neural pathway in his brain has been completely erased. I have him on full life support while we rebuild his neural pathways.”
“How long will that take?” Kelly asked.
“At least a month, maybe six weeks,” Dr. Finn answered
“That’s too long!” Anaya cried. Bursting into tears and sobbing on the edge of the stasis chamber.
“That does seem a little long,” Kelly said.
“This is new territory. I’ve never seen a case of neural degradation this bad. I have him alive and stable and we are rebuilding the pathways, but I can’t even be sure that his brain will ever be able to take over full function again. And if it does, there is still no way to know what kind of permanent damage there might be.”
“What am I going to do without him for four weeks?” Anaya asked Dr. Finn. “ How will I survive? He’s the one who takes care of me.”
Anaya pounded on the stasis chamber with her fist. “Daddy wake up, wake up” Anaya cried, “ you have to wake up!”
“Anaya,” Dr. Finn said with that gentle forcefulness only a mom can have, “he’s not going to wake up today. He’s not going to die, but for now we just need to let him rest. Ok?”
“Can I stay here with him?” Anaya asked.
“You can stay for a little while,” Dr. Finn said, “but you’ll need to get some rest too.”
“I need to contact Admiral Halsey,” Kelly said with a heavy sigh. “Why don’t you stay here with your father for a bit while I talk to the Admiral and then I’ll make you some dinner and get you tucked into bed?”
Anaya reluctantly agreed.
In Ed’s office Kermit the Frog stared at Kelly from the desktop. On the viewscreen Admiral Halsey looked upset.
“So that’s the situation.” She told them both.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Admiral Halsey said, “Dr. Finn is very capable. If anyone can get Ed back on his feet, I am sure she can. However; I am placing you back in command of the Orville until further notice.”
“And when Ed wakes up?” Kelly asked.
“When Dr. Finn clears him for duty, he can return to command.” Halsey said. “ In the meantime, the Orville is still expected at the Janisi Cultural Festival.”
“Understood,” Kelly said.